Independence Day: Resurgence–Review

Independence Day: Resurgence

If you knew how a story begins and how it ends, what would you be going to see? The effects? Those are pretty cool, but they can’t carry a movie, with the only exception being maybe transformers. I don’t understand why every alien has to look just like the one in the original alien movie, with only superficial differences. Sure this one is more diesel, but he’s the same guy just jacked up on ‘roids. That would be steroids not hemorrhoids folks. Same scary face covered with the same gooey slime.Then again there is a lot about this movie that rings redundant.
The bible says “there is nothing new under the sun” whoever wrote that passage would easily find that wisdom confirmed if they watch Jeff Goldblums character. He is the exact same dude in every movie. In every movie he stars in, his weird genius doctor guy character is a clone for every other one; if you took the guy out of Jurassic Park and dumped him in this flick, it wouldn’t skip a beat. At least the other actors had some kind of unique quality to bring to the table. The acting in general wasn’t bad, especially when you consider the corniness of some of their lines. One saving grace is Bill Pullman’s president character has a really cool sounding voice. If the other actors weren’t getting paid crazy amounts of dough, I would almost feel bad for them having to subject themselves to a screenplay that easily could have been written by a twelve year old in a foreign country that just learned English last week. All the relationships were extremely shallow probably because there wasn’t enough time to allow for development when the whole world is about to be destroyed by a queen mother of a generic alien and her pissy little alien hive. Whaaah. Nobody is getting an academy award, or any other award for this one folks…unless…how about corniest film of the year, that one it could easily win. Most of the jokes barely worked, and there wasn’t enough of them. The problem is without an occasional comic relief punchline to break it up, then everyone has to try to be serious, because they sure as hell aren’t profound, so this screws up the whole suspension of disbelief idea, and you end up stuck drowning in corny world with a recycled script full of badly thought out lines for a life preserver. Everybody say… HELP! Sorry too late, I already drowned. Maybe I can save you, save you the twenty plus dollars and the two hours of your life your never getting back. It get’s one and a half out of a potential four–alien mother ships.
I like saying that–alien mother ships. Anyway…watch it on the telly…

This is the Wisdom of the Smyth.

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Reviews

Money Monster

Let’s get right to it, this is a damn good movie. I give it a whole bucket load of stars, spoons, gummie waffles,  smiling imoji faces, or for that matter, any symbol you prefer for your movie rating system. It’s a pretty decent flick, the entire staff (me) here at the loop-hole.com actually agreed on this one– you  should check it out. George Clooney does a very convincing job as Lee Gates, the narcissistic stock adviser with a television show. While Jack O’Connell performs brilliantly as Kyle Budwell, the man who takes over the show with a handgun and jihadist style bomb vest  he forces Clooneys character to wear. I have to admit the whole shit-show takes a very unrealistic turn, when they all go marching down Main st. in search of the C.E.O. douchebag who ripped off stockholders for 800 million bucks. But hey it’s not a documentary, because in real life the police would probably fuck things up a lot worse and a whole bunch of innocent black people would get killed….or maybe not. Anywhoo, the movie is good, you should check it out, especially if you are like me and just plain ole’ tired of watching grown ass men in tights doing a lousy job of pretending to be really pissed off at one another–sorry, that’s a different movie for a different review. Let’s get back to this one. I did enjoy the plot twist, and the incorporated social commentary about greedy Wall St. assholes, about trigger happy police, about mass media, and about the public’s ability to forget things very quickly, those are all worthy topics which is exactly why I really liked this movie. I give it three bloody band-aids and a tampon.