Get Rich Raising Brain Eating Amoeba

Get Rich Raising Brain Eating Amoeba

The internet is a great place to start new businesses. I recently came up with a plan to become financially independent by working from home on my computer. This isn’t one of those get rich quick schemes, no, this is the real deal. A true opportunity for financial freedom. Now, for a limited time I am offering this once in a lifetime ground floor opportunity to you for a minimum investment. This deal is so good, it doesn’t even require an investment of money–just brain space.

That’s right folks, for years science has been telling us we are only using a mere 10% of our brains. Well, just imagine if you could use the other 90% to make serious cash. That’s what this opportunity can do for you–true financial freedom. By getting in on the ground floor, you could be the first in your area to cash in. The product is so simple, it virtually sells itself. The best part is you can get started today. Why wait?
Be the first in your neighborhood to raise brain eating amoeba’s. The market for these little monsters is only getting larger. It is projected that products for assassins and third world tyrants will be a billion dollar industry by sometime next year. Don’t miss your chance to be the next brain eating amoeba millionaire. So how does it work?

For $9.99 we will send you the starter kit, which includes–one brain eating amoeba, one small turkey baster (for implanting in the nose), full detailed instructions–and if you act right now–we will include the top secret manual “How to Contaminate Water Supplies” which up until now, has only been available to government employees.
Why waste that other 90% when you can turn it into a profit center. Once the first amoeba takes root in your cerebellum, you are on your way to a new life of financial independence and freedom. Doctor’s are still discovering other uses for these nasty little micro-killers. Just like they did with the once deadly butticallism microbe, whose injections have become all the rage with washed up old broads in Hollywood trying to keep gravity from ruining otherwise perfectly good plastic surgery. Deadly microbes are a rapidly growing market. Other uses for brain eating amoeba include: clearing up sinus infections, alzheimer’s, migraine headaches, not to mention just for eliminating stupid and ugly people who don’t deserve to be alive anyway.

And that’s not all. Act now and receive your own “handbook for raising amoeba and paramecium” which will explain exactly how to harvest the amoeba after they have they have made a Chinese buffet out of the other 90% of your dome sponge. Here at Amoeba International our motto is “Leave No Membrane Un-loved” Nothing gives you the warm fuzzies like that feeling of knowing wherever you go, your amoeba are hard at work uncluttering your hippocampus of all that unnecessary grey sponge material. Then when they are fully grown (assuming you survive) you just mail the nasty little peckerheads back to us, and in four to six weeks you will receive your check. Nothing could be easier. E-mail today and receive your instructions on where (on the dark web) to send the check or money order. Just imagine, in a few short weeks you will receive your monster, follow the instructions A. for self implant or B. Killing with amoeba, and then presto! It’s chow time!

Amoeba International is a registered trademark of Amoeba International and as such is subject to all the illegible legal microprint gibberish associated with most companies in America today.

Random Rant: Food Stamps

Food Stamps and Social Media
That’s right folks it’s random rant time here at the Today’s topic is food stamps and social media. I have observed several different forums for bashing food stamp recipients on the world wide web, some of these include memes, you-tube video’s, and commentaries about what people buy and the possibility of drug testing food stamp recipients. Since people are so eager to share their opinions while ducking behind their little monitors and bravely punching their silent keystrokes, I think I am entitled to share mine. At least I went through the trouble of creating a blog which seems somehow more legitimate than just sharing someones nasty little meme to make a point.
First of all is someone buys steaks or twenty pounds of Frito’s what business is it of yours, it’s food, let them eat what they want. This is addressed to those you-tubers who think it’s so funny to harass people on gov’t assistance. Really, if it makes you feel better about yourself to laugh at people when they are out grocery shopping, then I say go check your priorities. Maybe we should come to your house and make a video about all the food you probably waste on a daily basis. News flash–you aren’t the food stamp police cowboy, so mozie on back to your inbred clan and find a better use of your non-existent talent okay there video gangster.
Sure, I know, you work hard and pay your taxes, so everybody else needs to pull there own weight. Another news flash: the ones that aren’t paying taxes are the people like Donald Trump, who are so greedy they want to take and take without putting anything in to the system. The people who are struggling are not the ones you need to worry about, they pay taxes on everything they buy and use, it’s unavoidable. When they get on their feet they don’t hire fancy accountants and lawyers to keep them from their obligations.
This is for all you meme pirates: drug testing people on assistance is just another way to grow gov’t. Our gov’t does nothing efficiently…nothing. The whole drug law bullshit was just a big fat excuse to lock people up, steal their money, and create more division among the classes. Nobody will tell you this, but I will, without the underground economy the whole system comes crashing down. The black market is equal to or larger than the above board economy. When the shit hit’s the fan, like it is in Venezuela right now, it’s the black market that helps people survive. So don’t be so quick to condemn everything and believe all the propaganda peddled by the secret agenda oriented media.
One last point. If you are fortunate enough to have a steady income, to be healthy enough to enjoy the fruits of your labor, then rejoice, not everyone is so blessed. Sure there will be abuses, sure some people will take advantage, but we shouldn’t look around at our nice houses, our newer automobiles, our plentiful resources, and say “hey, someone else is getting a free ride.” Don’t make the assumption that everyone on food stamps is taking advantage of the system. I was an active addict for over ten years, I own that, I don’t want assistance, I need assistance. Now I am in college working on my degree. I look forward to the day when I can put more in than I take out. Technology has made it real easy to push a few buttons and express your opinion, try looking a mother in the eye and telling her no she can’t have food for her hungry child. We are so blessed to live in the bread basket of the world, feeding our own people not only reduces crime and helps maintain order, but it is the right thing to do.
The Smyth has Spoken

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